The exact step‑by‑step protocol our clients use to break a habit they keep going back to, even after 98.4% of them had failed beforeRevealed by a Chief Behavior Engineer whose clients include professionals from Google, Amazon, Tesla and NASA

Watch the briefing 9 min 0:00 / 9:11

Prefer to read? Scroll down

From the desk of

Manish “Leo” Shetty

Founder and Chief Behavior Engineer, Phalanx Labs

• Seven years of private behavior work
• 290+ private clients

Dear friends and readers,

This briefing is for anyone who keeps going back to a habit they’ve decided to stop. They mean it every time. Then, in private, the same habit wins again.

98.4% of the 290+ clients I’ve worked with over the past seven years came to us after failed attempts to break a habit.

They had made firm promises to change. Many had tried again and again. The habit kept coming back anyway.

It’s interesting when you think about it. Most people think they know what keeps their habit going. Yet when we asked our clients about it in detail, almost all of them had it wrong.

Think about that. They want to change their lives. They make a firm decision to start. They act with the best intentions...

Only to crash and burn. Then blame themselves and feel guilty, ashamed or hopeless.

WITHOUT stopping to think that maybe, just MAYBE, what they believed about their habits was wrong.

Which brings us to a pressing question...

Why DO so many attempts to break habits fail? And what do the people who finally stop do differently?

By the end of this briefing, you’ll have a clear answer. One you can use in your own life.

You’ll also have the chance to get The Break Free Protocol in private. It’s the step-by-step protocol our one-to-one clients follow to stop.

So keep reading. This could change the way you think about breaking a habit.

The promise holds for a few days. Then one familiar evening pulls it all back.

Before I answer that question, let me describe a pattern that comes up in our work.

Someone tells themselves this will be the last time. Then the same thing happens again.

They make the promise. They last a few days, maybe a few weeks. Then stress, boredom, tiredness or one familiar situation pulls them straight back.

Here’s what that can look like.

• There’s a habit they want to break. They’ve tried to stop more than once, and they keep going back to it.
• They can hold out for days or weeks. Then one trigger, or one hard moment, pulls them back.
• Their good stretches end the same way. One slip. Then a full return. Then the feeling that they’ve lost control again.
• Urges and excuses keep beating the decisions they made when they were calm.
• They’ve read a book about habits, marked up half the pages, and felt more ready than ever.
• They’ve picked a start date, told themselves this time is different, and gone in on willpower alone.
• They’ve put a lock on it. A blocker. A deleted app. Something thrown in the trash. A password handed to someone they trust.
• They’ve counted the days, made it to week two or week five, and watched it all end on one ordinary evening.
• The pattern starts to cost them. Their focus. Their energy. Their work. Their health. The people around them.
• And they’re tired of starting over. They want to get control back without needing a fresh burst of motivation each time.

Read that list again. The people it describes keep their promises at work and at home. They aren’t short on effort. The habit still wins, in the same few moments, over and over.

And yet some of them stop, even after ten years of trying. So the real question is this:

What do the people who stop do differently?

Trying harder doesn’t fix it. Marcel tried ten times.

For more than seven years, my team and I have worked privately with people who want to break a habit they keep going back to.

They come from all kinds of lives. Some run companies. Some are raising kids.

They deal with hard things every day. And in private, one pattern keeps beating them.

They try to hide it. Tell themselves it’s not that big a deal. Yet they worry they’ll find a way to stop too late.

They know how much is at risk. Their relationships, their work, their health. Maybe even their money.

Let me tell you about Marcel.

0:25

Marcel is a commercial director at a consumer goods company in the Netherlands. He’d been trying to stop a habit for fifteen years. At least ten serious attempts, each with a start date and a reason behind it.

He’d done the reading too. Self-help books. The psychology of why people do what they do. Podcasts and Huberman videos on habit change. He knew the material.

YET he still couldn’t make an attempt last.

It cost him more than the habit itself. His mornings took an hour or two to get going. He took afternoon naps and told himself they were a gift. He always felt rushed, with no time left over.

Ten serious attempts by a smart, well-read adult who wanted to change and had followed the advice.

But WAIT. Before I finish Marcel’s story, there’s something else you need to understand.

I’ll come back to him, I promise.

What clients say about the protocol

“Fifteen years. Ten serious attempts. Every one started the same way: I picked a day and I hoped. The Break Free Protocol was the first time someone showed me how to actually stop, step by step. I knew my triggers, my house was ready, and I knew what I would do in the bad hour before it came. That attempt is the one that held. If you are about to try again, start with this.

“Two weeks. That was always my limit. Start strong, white-knuckle it, fall back, repeat, for years. The protocol broke that loop because it didn't ask me to be stronger. It told me exactly what to do on the nights I used to lose. I stopped needing motivation to show up. I just followed the steps.

“Before, my whole day was waiting to get home to it. The protocol showed me where and when it happens for me, what to change at home, and what to do in the evening when it comes. It is very clear, very structured, and based on science, which is why I trusted it. Sixty days later both of my patterns are gone and I have so much more energy.

Private clients, in their own words, shared with consent. Individual experiences vary and are not promises of a particular result.

The people who tried the hardest stayed stuck the longest

Here’s what we found in our client files, and it turned my thinking upside down.

The people who’d made the most attempts, read the most books and tried the most tools had often been stuck the longest.

Chris M, a tech lead in the United States, spent close to ten years trying programs, apps, therapy and sheer willpower. None gave him steady success.

Chris M · Tech lead · USA

Colin, a founder in the United States, spent eight years on the same fight. Timers. Habit trackers. Every video he could find.

Colin · Founder · USA

Ade, a founder in Canada, went through the same loop for years. Start motivated. Hold out for two weeks. Fall back. Repeat.

Ade · Founder · Canada

And Marcel. Ten attempts and every book on the shelf.

More effort. More tools. More years stuck.

But why does it happen?

There’s research on this too. Let me explain.

In one study of 13,417 smokers, people who’d recently tried to quit and failed were less likely to succeed the next time. Only 15.1% of them held, against 27.1% of those without a recent failed attempt.⁷

A failed attempt can make the next one harder to believe in.

Another study of 1,277 smokers estimated that quitting for good took around 30 attempts.⁸

And remember the 98.4%, the clients whose past attempts had failed. When we asked them why, almost all gave the same kinds of answers. Not enough willpower. Too much stress. A weak moment. A bad week.

So that’s what each new attempt tried to fix. They tried harder. Waited for a calmer month. Promised to be stronger this time.

But a review from 2006 found that making people want to change more had a much smaller effect on what they actually did.⁹

Look, most of these people already want to change.

In a 2018 study of 2,928 drinkers, wanting to drink less predicted making an attempt. It didn’t predict actually drinking less.¹⁰

And that’s how someone can put in real effort, lose another attempt, and start trusting themselves a little less. After a while, they begin to think THEY are the problem.

They aren’t the problem. They’ve been trying to fix the wrong thing.

The habit lives in places, times and moments. This is why most people return to a habit even when the decision to stop has been made.

Five findings from the research explain it.

1. 1

   The place carries the habit

   A study followed students as they moved to a new university. Old habits were more likely to stick when familiar surroundings stayed the same.¹

   He used to spend his whole day waiting to get home to the habit. For him, it was tied to one place and one hour.

2. 2

   Stopping doesn’t erase the habit

   Learning a new response doesn’t wipe out the old one. Being back in a familiar place can bring it out again. Researchers call this “renewal.”²

   That helps explain why a holiday can feel easy and the first week home doesn’t.

3. 3

   The trigger starts the urge

   A review of studies across drinking, smoking and other habits found that just being reminded of the habit could bring on a craving.³

4. 4

   Stress makes it harder to think ahead

   When someone is stressed, planning and saying no can get harder, while old, automatic responses come more easily.⁴

   “The science part of the protocol was the moment it clicked for me. Now I understand how my brain works and what it needs, so I don’t fight it blind anymore.”

5. 5

   The twenty minutes after a slip

   There’s a name for the “I’ve already blown it” reaction: the Abstinence Violation Effect.

   Someone slips and thinks, “I’m weak. I knew it. I always do this.” Their confidence drops, and “I’ve already blown it” becomes a reason to keep going. A study of 75 adults trying to stop a substance they’d used daily for years found the same pattern.⁵

   That’s why we plan for those first twenty minutes, before one slip turns into a lost week.

   And while new habits take time to form, another study found that missing one day didn’t undo people’s progress.⁶

   One slip doesn’t have to end the attempt.

None of this is a promise about anyone’s brain. It helps explain why a plan needs to cover the places, times and minutes when the habit happens.

Willpower, blockers, books and streaks all leave the same three moments unplanned.

Look at what most people do when they try to break a habit.

1. 1

   Willpower and a start date

   On a stressful evening, it can be harder to think ahead and resist an urge, even when the plan hasn’t changed.⁴

2. “Inge, a senior operator in Belgium, described the difference this way: “Every attempt before, I started with nothing ready and tried to white-knuckle the rest. The protocol is the opposite of that. Everything is decided before the first day.”

3. 2

   Blockers and restrictions

   They can help. But the urge still comes at nine o’clock, and the empty evening is still unplanned. A determined adult can usually get around a setting. When the blocker comes off, the same room and the same hour are waiting.

4. 3

   Books and trackers

   Books can make people want to change. But wanting alone doesn’t do as much as people expect. Look at Marcel. He knew the material and still failed ten times. Trackers count a streak. One slip can then feel like losing every day before it. That’s what the “I blew it” effect feeds on.

5. “Timers, trackers, every video on the internet. Eight years of it. None of it told me what to do at 9pm on a bad night. The Break Free Protocol did, in plain steps, and that’s the difference.”

6. 4

   Learning more, but still not knowing what to do

   There’s another problem that can come with all that reading. Someone starts with a book on habits, then watches a podcast on dopamine. Soon they’ve saved hours of advice about the brain and how to change.

   But now there’s so much to take in that they don’t know where to start. Which advice comes first? What needs to change before Monday? What are they actually going to do when an urge turns up?

   Look, the information can be useful. The missing part is a step-by-step protocol that turns it into exactly what to do. That’s why our clients’ protocol starts with the science, then turns it into steps.

   Otherwise, they can explain the science and still be sitting on the same couch at nine o’clock, unsure what to do next.

7. 5

   Support from a partner

   The research is mixed. Support helps most when there’s trust and both people know what to expect. A partner can check in on Friday. They’re rarely there at eleven on a Tuesday night. And nobody wrote down how to handle that moment.

Each can leave the same three moments unplanned. The trigger. The urge. The twenty minutes after a slip.

We’ve used it in our private work for years.

Our one-to-one clients don’t stop on willpower. They follow a protocol.

They follow the same steps our behavior specialists use with every client. It covers the things people skip when they feel ready and want to start right away.

What sets the habit off? What needs to change in the daily routine and surroundings? What’s the plan when an urge comes? What’s the plan for the twenty minutes after a slip?

Think about it like this.

Pilots use a checklist before every take-off, no matter how much experience they have.

A 2009 study looked at what happened after hospitals introduced the World Health Organization’s surgical checklist. Deaths after surgery fell from 1.5% to 0.8%, and complications fell too.¹¹

The checklist helped make sure the steps got done.

Even skilled people can miss an obvious step. We put the steps in order.

After seeing the same wrong belief in 290+ client files, we decided the protocol shouldn’t stay inside our practice. It’s now available to the public for the first time.

Our specialists use what we call the Neuro-Transformation System.

It’s based on how the brain and body work, to help people get control of their habits from the ground up.

It starts with what sets the habit off, the daily routine, the surroundings, and the minutes after a slip. There are four stages, in this order.

1. 1

   Locate

   Find what sets off the habit before changing anything. The times. The places. The people. The feelings. Including the ones that are easy to miss. Most people know their last attempt failed. Few can say which evening, what set it off, and what time it happened.

2. 2

   Modify

   Get the daily routine ready for the change. Someone might be ready to stop a habit but still be sleeping badly, skipping meals and carrying stress into every evening. Those things need attention too.

   So the protocol sets out the days around the habit: when to sleep, what to eat, when to exercise and where meditation fits. Regular sleep, meals, movement and time to unwind can help with mood, energy and managing stress.¹²

   We also make room for things the person enjoys outside the habit. The aim is to support the brain and body while they get used to a day without that usual source of stimulation.

3. 3

   Install

   Change the surroundings before you stop, not after the first slip. Throw out, delete, block or move what can go. Make what’s left harder to reach or use.

4. 4

   Hold

   Know exactly what to do when an urge comes and in the minutes after a slip, and how to keep going once the first weeks are over. Decided in advance, while you’re calm.

   A 2006 review found that people were more likely to reach their goals when they’d planned, “If this happens, I’ll do that.”¹³

   And in a study of New Year’s resolutions, even the people who succeeded had slipped along the way.¹⁴

   So our clients have the slip plan in hand before they need it, their commitment in their own words, and one person who knows.

The Break Free Protocol is the step-by-step blueprint our private clients follow, built on all four stages of the Neuro-Transformation System. In Locate, it shows you how to find every trigger and what the habit is really costing you. In Modify, it sets up the days around the habit: sleep, food, training, the people you see and what fills the empty hours. In Install, it takes you through changing your surroundings and gives you three lines for when an urge hits, when it won’t let go and if you slip. In Hold, it gives you your answers to the triggers and excuses that still come, and shows you how to build a life the habit doesn’t fit into.

You go through it once, in order. By the end, you know exactly what to do before you stop, on the day you stop and every time the habit pulls after that.

Here’s what’s in The Break Free Protocol:

• Understand what’s happening in your brain. What dopamine, glutamate, stress and the brain’s calming signal have to do with a habit, and which step of the protocol handles each one.
• Know every trigger, and what to do about it. The times, places, people and feelings tied to the habit, including the ones that are easy to miss.
• Make the habit harder to repeat. Exactly what to throw out, delete, block or move before you stop, and the barriers to add for what can’t go.
• Know what to do when an urge hits. Three IF-THEN lines on a card for your phone or wallet: one for the pull, one for when it won’t let go, one for a slip.
• Know your next step if you slip. What to say and do straight afterward, before one mistake becomes a reason to give up.
• Know what to do with your days. What fills the empty hours when you first stop, plus the sleep, food, exercise and meditation routine that keeps you steady.
• Keep going after the first weeks. What to do about the triggers and excuses that still come, and how to build a life the habit doesn’t fit into.
• Keep your reasons for stopping where you’ll see them. Your commitment in your own words, one person who knows, and reminders where the habit tends to happen.

...and 20 other steps in the protocol.

86% off for immediate action takers

The Break Free Protocol

This is how you stop, step by step.

4.8 out of 5 from 290+ client reviews

• Understand what's happening in your brain
• Know every trigger, and what to do about it
• Make the habit harder to reach before you stop
• Know what to do when an urge hits
• Know your next step if you slip
• Know what to do with your days when you first stop
• Keep going after the first weeks

Open it the moment you order, in your private portal, on your phone or in print.

$197 $27Action Takers priceThat's 86% off

Get The Break Free Protocol · $27

One payment of $27. No subscription, nothing recurring. The protocol is yours as soon as you pay.

14-day money-back guarantee. Send one email within 14 days and you get every dollar back. No questions asked.

Hear from people who followed the protocol

Two weeks

Waqas, a tech founder in New York, built his plan with us before he started. He reported stopping within two weeks, and 32 days without it when he recorded his video. Before, in his words: “Time was flying by and I was on autopilot. Same evening, same result.” After: “I followed the protocol to the letter and stopped inside two weeks. Thirty-two days now. I’m feeling a lot better.”

WaqasTech founder · New York0:15

Forty-seven days

Marcel, the man who had tried ten times. He reported breaking the pattern and rebuilding his focus in 47 days. More on him in a moment.

MarcelCommercial director, consumer goods company · Netherlands0:25

The first day felt different

Inge, a senior operator in Belgium: “With the protocol I was ready before the first day. I knew my triggers, my space was cleared, and when the thought came I already knew what to do. From day one it felt different from every other time.”

IngeSenior operator · Belgium0:07

Sixty days

Juan Carlos, the man who used to wait all day to get home. He reported breaking both of his patterns across 60 days. “I followed every step of the protocol. Both patterns, gone in sixty days. I am much more focused and I have much more energy.”

Juan CarlosSenior product manager · Spain0:07

Seventy-one days

Bjorn started because he had lost his motivation and his joy. He reported 71 days without it, and said this attempt was easier than the ones before, because of the information and the daily training. “This attempt was easier than all the ones before, because I finally had the information and a clear routine to follow. Seventy-one days. I feel better, and I am motivated again by the things that give me joy.”

BjornSenior operator · Netherlands0:07

Two and a half months

Ade, after years of the same two-week loop: “Two and a half months in, following the protocol every day. Honestly, this is the best I’ve felt physically and mentally in years.”

AdeFounder · Canada0:27

Now the longer follow-up.

Ten years, then this

Chris M, after close to ten years of programs, apps and white-knuckling, said this was the best he had been in those ten years. He has a stressful job and a family, and he stays consistent. “Ten years of programs, apps and white-knuckling, and none of them had what the protocol has: a procedure for the moment it gets hard. You write down what you’ll do and where it usually goes wrong, before you start. That’s the step everyone skips, and it’s the one that worked for me. Stressful job, a family, and I’m consistent every day.”

Chris MTech lead · USA0:27

Eight years, then this

Colin: “Eight years on the same fight. With the protocol it finally stuck, and all that time and energy goes into my business now.”

ColinFounder · USA0:29

Fifteen years, then this

Jeroen, a tech professional and founder in the United States: “Fifteen years of trying on my own. The protocol gave me the structure I never had. Life is so much better now.”

JeroenTech professional and founder · USA0:15

And then Marcel.

Fifteen years. Ten attempts. Every book.

Four months after he started, he had not gone back to the habit once. The mornings that used to take two hours now start at 5:30. The afternoon naps are gone. In his words: “My mornings used to take two hours. Now I start at 5:30, the naps are gone, and I have time left.”

And the line I think about most: “The Break Free Protocol is the most effective system I have ever come across, and I have tried everything.”

Client interviews shared with consent. Individual experiences vary and are not promises of a particular result. Faces obscured in some videos at the client's request.

Every attempt that starts unplanned makes the next one harder to believe in.

The clock is ticking anyway.

The more a habit is repeated in the same place at the same hour, the stronger that link can become. That’s how habits are learned. The same couch, the same time of night, starts the same urge again.

An attempt that starts without a plan for the slip can end up repeating the same “I blew it” ending. It gets easier to fall straight back into it.

Most people try again anyway.

That’s what people do when something matters to them. They keep working for it.

The question is whether the next attempt goes like the last one, or follows a protocol that tells you exactly what to do.

Try the same way again, or stop the way our clients do.

An attempt can start the same way as the last one. A date. Determination. Nothing written down for the evening, the urge or the slip. It might work. Sometimes it does.

Or do what our private clients do: follow a protocol that covers those three moments, step by step.

See what the protocol covers. It’s our internal client protocol, available to the public for the first time. Open it in private the moment you order, on your phone or in print. It takes you through all four stages of the Neuro-Transformation System.

Get The Break Free Protocol and stop the way they did. Marcel had a plan. Waqas had a plan. So did Inge, Juan Carlos, Bjorn, Ade, Chris M and Colin. Every one of them started the attempt that held with the hard moments already decided.

AND HERE’S THE BEST PART...

At Phalanx Labs, we’re big on taking action. It’s our number-one requirement for the people we work with.

To encourage that in you, and reward people who act on what they want, we have:

The Immediate Action Takers Offer

Inside our private work with clients, the protocol is valued at $197.

For readers of this briefing who take action NOW, it’s ONLY $27. That’s 86% off.

It comes with a 14-day money-back guarantee. If it’s not for you, send one email within 14 days and you’ll get every dollar back. No questions asked.

86% off for immediate action takers

The Break Free Protocol

This is how you stop, step by step.

4.8 out of 5 from 290+ client reviews

• Understand what's happening in your brain
• Know every trigger, and what to do about it
• Make the habit harder to reach before you stop
• Know what to do when an urge hits
• Know your next step if you slip
• Know what to do with your days when you first stop
• Keep going after the first weeks

Open it the moment you order, in your private portal, on your phone or in print.

$197 $27Action Takers priceThat's 86% off

Get The Break Free Protocol · $27

One payment of $27. No subscription, nothing recurring. The protocol is yours as soon as you pay.

14-day money-back guarantee. Send one email within 14 days and you get every dollar back. No questions asked.

One last thing.

Marcel had read the books. He had the determination, ten separate times. Fifteen years of picking a day and hoping.

His advice, in his own words: “If you are about to try again, don’t just pick a day. Get the protocol first.”

Just get the damn protocol and make it easier on yourself.

Manish “Leo” Shetty

Founder and Chief Behavior Engineer
Phalanx Labs